Mother’s Day makes Bron Bates break into a cold sweat. Here’s why.
Every year when Mother’s Day rolls around, I feel a little uneasy. The expectations (mine towards my partner and kids), the things that can go wrong (me not booking the restaurant in time – every year), and my worries over how to act appropriately towards those who have lost their mothers, those who have lost their children and those who desperately want to have children, and I am quietly one big hot mess not knowing how to face the day at all.
When I was a child, my mother was the most magnificent person in the world to me. I wanted to be with her always. Literally every second. I even followed her to the bathroom and continued to talk to her through the door (how annoying for her). Our relationship is far from perfect, but I’ve always been able to turn to her in times of trouble and I love her very much.
My mum is one of many who lost her own mother tragically, and too young, and I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for her to parent without the support of that one other person who truly gets it.
But she’s always filled my life with stories of how magnificent her own mother was. How she made sure she was educated (no small feat for a rural girl growing up in 1930s Philippines), how she was smart and stylish and strong: a teacher, school principal, business woman and leader in her community.
So maybe this is how I’ll face the day. By letting my own mother know she’s been this person to me too. By focusing on what I appreciate about the mother figures in my life instead of worrying about what might be organised for me (but I’m still going to remind my kids to make a card!).
Wishing you and the magnificent mothers in your life a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend.
p.s Photograph of my mum and me taken by my dad, 1979.